


Two Years Have Gone Now

by thosewhitejeans



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: I wrote this mostly about a month ago...., I’m just having a major crisis and don’t want to post this, M/M, and way too much clothes swapping, but anyways, it’s kinda shit tbh, it’s pretty much solid fluff with occasional angst, the anniversary of rock en Seine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 17:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16044995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosewhitejeans/pseuds/thosewhitejeans
Summary: Based on a series of Instagram stories from Miles and the vague timeline of those few days where the both of them were both in London. (A few cameos from headcanons I have that got super out of hand due to convos with some friends)





	Two Years Have Gone Now

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I cannot believe how out of hand this got, I’m so sorry, it’s soooooo long, sorry!

The key turns with its usual soft click and Miles is monumentally relieved when he’s greeted by a blast of warmth from inside. He doubts the heaters are on but the difference in temperature from outside is still significant. Considering it was still August and technically still summer, the morning had brought with it a chill he really hadn’t been prepared for, denim jacket hardly much of a match for the driving rain on his way home. Truthfully he’d been feeling that cold all day, sitting in the back of a taxi and zoning out as he wondered if perhaps he was just longing a bit too hard for the comfort he’d left behind that morning. 

Crawling out of bed had certainly been much too difficult for his liking, especially when the body pressed up against his own and still deeply asleep was so warm, skin so soft and inviting him for cuddles. He’d pushed away reluctantly, only comforted by the fact that he had the whole afternoon off to spend however they desired. Together, of course, but with no specific plans. He’d left Alex with an especially gentle kiss at his temple, lest he should wake him, and hurried off to take a quick shower and pick out something to wear.

He had been totally delighted when he stepped out of the shower, towel round his waist and water droplets rapidly cooling on his shoulders and chest, only to see that Alex was awake already. The man seemed sleepy, presumably still not fully awake as he hummed something decidedly appreciative and Miles tensed slowly to show off his abs. 

He picked up his usual jeans and hunted quickly for a shirt, only turning around when he felt eyes on him, burning. 

“Wait... don’ tell meh... I know... it’s uhmm a TV thing? Like, a... interview?” Miles smiled at his low voice, the way his words were coloured by exhaustion and dropped at the ends when he ran out of energy. He let his shirt hang open while he crawled across the bed to pull the man in for a kiss, held his cheeks in either hand and stopped to rub his fingers against the soft fuzz of his buzzed hair. 

“Radio,” he corrects, sliding off the bed lest he should get too attached. “I didn’t wanna wake ye,” he adds, trying to fix his hair and stifling a yawn, catching Alex’s smile through the mirror and watching him rise and slink his way over, dressed only in his underwear and skin still so warm from being tangled up in the sheets. 

“It’s not so earleh, not as bad as Friday at least.” 

That much was true. Thursday night was their first together in god knows how long and Miles had to be up and out at close to 6am. They were still awake at 1am, of course, pressed close and breathing heavy from the come down, sweat rapidly cooling between their chests. Miles was ready to tighten his arms around Alex, shut his eyes and let himself drift off but just as his breathing settled and his eyes fell heavy a gentle voice came croaking beside him. “Mi?” He couldn’t possibly ignore that unhappy edge and so he blinked himself awake again, twisted his body toward the other man and hummed to let him know he’d heard. 

Alex talked for a long time and Miles just listened, took in everything and let the words tumble into one another. He offered soft kisses and cautious affection wherever the other man paused until eventually his words came more thought out and his sentences started to make more sense. It was close to 3am by the time Alex seemed to have sorted things out in his head. He murmured some thanks and Miles brushed them off quickly while his thumb brushed away the dampness at Alex’s cheeks. The kiss he received was slow but demanding of absolutely nothing, leaving him feeling warm and fuzzy. Then Alex curled into his arms, spent emotionally and physically and apparently ready to sleep. When Miles’ alarm woke him barely two hours later Alex stayed asleep and he didn’t shift even when Miles untangled their limbs and dragged himself out of bed. 

“Hey! Where you going?” Miles pouted at him as he turned to leave. 

“Making you coffee, love, just get ready Okay?” He was far too sweet, pulling Miles’ Shavambacu ringer tee out from somewhere or other and admiring his selection audibly before leaving the room. Miles could hear him singing softly in the kitchen, his voice a bit quieter than it might normally be since it wasn’t warmed up yet. All those weeks Miles had spent in this flat felt like lifetimes ago, just that simple clatter of dishes and the quiet noise of the kettle and that perpetual lovely singing all made for the perfect soundtrack to his morning. He felt his shoulders settle even though he hadn’t known they were tensed and he finished off buttoning his shirt. He was tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, just needed a day or two without early mornings and interviews. He’d really not had a day off in a long few weeks and he was feeling it. Maybe it was more the fact that he knew he was on the home stretch, that this radio show was the last for a little while and he’d come home that afternoon and be able to spend time with Alex at last. 

When he’d finished getting ready, brushed his teeth, fixed his hair a bit and put his contact lenses in he did his belt up quickly and slipped his shoes on and headed to the kitchen. Alex greeted him with the smile that suggested he’d been lost in thought right up until Miles entered the room. He passed him a cup of coffee and kissed his cheek but before Miles could react properly he’d already crossing the room to light a cigarette from the stove and sat himself by the window so he could stare out at the world going by.

Miles’ fingers itched with a desire to join him but he’d really been trying to quit. These days he tried to avoid the urge as long as possible and usually only caved in the evening if it’d been a particularly trying day or if he’d had a drink. He took a sip of his coffee, pondering while he leant against the worktop and crossed his arms over his chest. He’d become a social smoker he realised with a grimace. 

“Coffee no good?” Alex’s voice pulled him from his reverie, small frown making it clear that he was actually really interested in the answer. 

“No, nah y’know ye make em better than anyone love, cheers,” he assured quietly. Alex seemed placated at least but then he’s stubbing out his cigarette and offering up an apologetic smile, apparently clued into Miles’ internal reel of thoughts.

“Forgot you’re trying t’ quit, sorreh,” he wafted the air uselessly, making Miles smile a bit as he waved off the apology and drank some more of his coffee, lost in staring out of the window just behind Alex. 

Miles’ mind had been reeling as he sat there, flicking through thoughts as fast as they popped up like he was purposely trying to discard them. One at a time, thinking about the gig he’d played the day before, the texts from Alex on Friday afternoon, the things they’d shared in mumbles in the wee hours of that same morning before his short few hours of sleep. He blinked, catching Alex’s eye across the room and feeling himself flush a little at the knowledge he was being watched. 

“Y’alreyt?” Alex asked. He rubbed a hand over his face, and stifled a quiet yawn before replying. 

“Fuckin’ knackered, mate.” He smiled though, downed the rest of his coffee and went to rinse his mug. 

“Leave it, I’ll do it in a bit,” Alex suggested and Miles reckoned that deserved a quick hug and a peck on his cheek before he left the room. 

“Thanks, honey,” he called jokily, making his voice light so that Alex would laugh, the sound buoying him up so he felt a bit more awake finally. 

“Don’t forget a jacket, love!” Alex called to him, probably somewhere between carrying on their little domesticity joke and genuine concern for his wellbeing. 

“Alright, Mum!” He grimaced at the grey sky out the window and the threatening rain and selected his denim jacket and then a pair of sunglasses for good measure. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” 

Miles spun around at the words, patting his pockets and trying to figure out what he was taking about. His bandana apparently, picked up from where he’d left it in the bag he still hadn’t unpacked from the day before. 

“For a radio show? Don’t think so Al,” he tried to reason but then Alex’s bare knees were on the wooden floorboards and his heavy gaze was concentrated on where he was tying the damn thing. Maybe a little higher than Miles might usually tie it, but he was securing it there with a deftness that Miles couldn’t find the energy to question. His face felt warm suddenly but he couldn’t look away, just watching the man‘s fingers move and before he knew it he was letting his hand fall carefully against Alex’s head. The short hair feeling so soft beneath his palm and as he rubbed gently he heard a quiet hum. Alex’s forehead pressed against his thigh for a moment but it wasn’t there long enough for Miles to think hard enough about it before he stood up in one swift movement.

“Get goin’ then or you’ll be late.” A pause and then he smiled from the bed where he was already curling back up, most likely about to pick up some book or other. 

“Mi?” He glanced back over his shoulder.

“Ye look great.” Just like that he was blushing hard.

—————

Exhaustion considered, the interview was good, his acoustic performance too and he felt strangely enthusiastic and full of energy. It was wearing off though, had been ever since he’d got in the taxi and out of the borderline chilly air of the afternoon. 

It’s just starting to rain by the time he gets out of the taxi but it’s hard enough of a downpour that he’s drenched and freezing when he gets to Alex’s flat, hair dripping rainwater and gel probably onto the tiled floor as he stumbles through the front door. 

He exhales heavily, kicking off his shoes and pushing open the second door and feeling that warmth truly hit him at last. Doubly perfect is the fact that it’s accompanied by the sound of some French record or other floating though the air. He doesn’t recognise it but he’s already ready for whatever particular insight Alex has for him. He’s probably sitting cross legged on the floor in the living room, studying the album cover and letting the music wash over him. He doesn’t want to disturb so he stays quiet, fully intending to find his way to the bedroom so he can change out of his damp jeans into something comfier. 

He’s wrong though, Alex is sprawled out on the bed, sheets neatly pulled over and room looking much tidier than it had been when Miles left that morning. He’s also gotten dressed at some point and Miles’ heart quickens just a bit because even though Alex is half curled up lying on the bed he’s pretty sure he can see bright pink font across the front of the black t-shirt he’s chosen to wear. It looks as though he’s asleep so Miles doesn’t say anything just yet but within moments he’s proven wrong.

“Mmmh yer... sooner than I thought,” comes a soft mumble just as he’s about to leave the room, making him jump and so he crosses back to the bed and sits at the edge. He holds his breath as he lets his hand rest against Alex’s head, fingers tracing patterns in the soft little hairs. Alex hums quietly, stretching out towards him and in doing so confirming for Miles exactly which t-shirt he’s wearing. He smiles automatically but decides not to bother commenting just yet because it’s quiet aside from the music and Alex is shifting all the more so he can settle with his head in his lap. Predictably enough he starts waffling on about the record he’s listening to, stopping only to hum or sing along to a chorus here and there. Miles leans back on his elbow, fingers of his other hand still trailing across the fuzz. 

The record must reach the end of side 1 because for a moment it’s just the crackling spin of needle on vinyl and Alex shifts, one hand between his thighs as he curls up a little more, his other hand automatically coming up under his cheek so he can lie against Miles’ thigh. 

“Yer jeans are damp.”

Miles just sighs because the man sits up properly even though he’s only just lay there. “I’ll change in a minute,” he murmurs, trying to readjust back to their former position but Alex is too busy frowning at him. 

“No, yer freezing. Change. Now. I’m gonna mek ye tea...” he pauses there to hug him close, draped over him and he’s so warm. Miles had totally forgotten how cold he‘d been and he shivers on reflex, twisting to pull Alex closer and breathing against his neck. 

“Mmmh well I s’pose I won’t protest that then,” he presses a soft kiss at the crook of Alex’s neck smelling his own aftershave on the collar of the t-shirt Alex is wearing. 

“You’d better not, I know y’need takin’ care of occasionalleh Mi, and now I’m ‘ere...” he tails off, smiling all soft as his fingers curl up at the ends of Miles’ damp hair. “... so, get changed, wear me top if y’like, since I’ve stolen yours, it’s in me suitcase.” 

Just like that, and with a parting little kiss at his jaw, Alex flits from the room. Dreamlike, Miles supposes. He’s so unused to it still, to having him around after so long. 

He pulls his damp shirt off, lost in wondering as that record in the corner carries on its scratchy whirring. Alex’s suitcase is pretty empty really so it doesn’t take long to find his t-shirt, at least it’s the one Miles assumes he’d been referring to. New monkeys tour merch that Alex definitely hadn’t ever worn out and about but smells so much like him all the same from being in amongst his other clothes. Hexagons, he notes with a smile. Alex had been obsessed with everything six sided for such a long time. The boy’s a marvel really. 

It’s strange though, knowing that Alex is in the flat, just a few metres away from him all the time, sets up this pull in his chest, makes him long for the other man in a way he usually manages to overlook. Maybe he’s just a bit too tired to fight that feeling but as soon as he’s dressed again in more comfortable clothes his feet automatically take him to the kitchen where Alex is making the tea he’d promised. 

“Oh,” he utters as soon as he looks up, staring at the top he’s wearing. For a moment Miles’ heart sinks and he feels his cheeks colour as words tumble from his lips. 

“Wrong top? I- I can change?” Alex shakes his head though, sliding him a cup of tea across the work top. 

“Absoluteleh not,” he drawls, “it’s jus’ that, it’s not nearly warm enough, y’needed the sweatshirt, could y’no’ find i’?” 

He just shakes his head although he hadn’t actually been looking for a sweatshirt so maybe it was in plain view all along. He’s really not that cold now he’s wearing dry clothes but something in his tells him not to bother protesting and to just go along with it. It’s rare enough that Alex is around to mollycoddle him this way so he may as well let him. Besides, his plans for the day absolutely extend to nothing more tiresome than cuddling with Alex and then dinner with Alex and then maybe phoning his mum later or something. The weather’s miserable, cold, grey and wet so it’s not like he’s opposed to wearing a sweatshirt or anything. By the time Alex has gone and returned, sweatshirt in hand, Miles is sipping his tea and he nearly spits it out when he sees the jumper. 

“Y’ wan’ me t’wear tha’?” His smile is obvious in his voice and Alex rolls his eyes.

“Well, you don’ *have* t’wear i’, but... it’s very warm.” He may as well be pouting. Of course Miles is going to wear it and apparently his accepting of the jumper is kiss-worthy. Naturally his hand goes to Alex’s waist the second he feels lips against his own, other hand automatically at the base of his neck. He’s still not used to feeling such short hair there, far more accustomed to tangling his fingers up in the thick wavy hair instead but still he hums into the kiss. He can feel Alex pull him closer still, still with that desperation he’d had on Thursday night, and the same the night before and that morning. Miles can’t blame him of course, he’s exactly the same, just desperate to steal every kiss he can. It feels like being rebellious, sneaky teenagers of something. Their time is running out already, hourglass with sand speeding through and Miles’ thoughts race to match, right up until he breaks away and drops his forehead against Alex’s shoulder. The man stills at the fact he’s pulled away and then there’s a soft kiss dropped amongst his hair, hands up and down his back slowly, another kiss and Alex holds him close. He breathes there, eyes closed and inhaling steadily. Alex’s heartbeat is firm and regular and slow and makes him feel a little less uneasy, panic slipping away steadily and replaced by fatigue. He shivers. 

“Jumper,” Alex prompts automatically although he must know he’s really not cold. Alex is the one who gets chilly, has to wear five layers and a scarf when they go anywhere in the winter, needs a blanket when they’re watching movies at night and always used to sneak into his bunk in the early hours when they toured together just because he needed warming up. 

“Thanks Al.” His voice is failing him, thick with emotion although he’s not even that sure why. He supposes it’s been a little too long since he could depend upon the feeling of arms around him, since he was welcomed home with a cup of tea and the sight of his clothes on someone else. It feels too soon and yet at the same time like he’s been waiting on it forever. 

Alex’s jumper, yet another piece of band merch, reads “tranquility base hotel + casino” in white. The black material is so so soft, fleece-like on the inside and just a bit too large, long sleeves and just enough excess material all around to make him feel cozy. 

“Suits you,” Alex smirks at him, taking a sip of his tea and waiting for his smile apparently which he returns wholeheartedly, eyes creasing at the edges. It definitely doesn’t suit him. 

“Cheers, eh, did ya ‘ave a good morning?” He asks, gaze flitting up to meet Alex’s light brown eyes where they catch the dim afternoon light from the window. 

“Yeh, luvleh to be honest, did some washin’... didn’ ‘ave a stitch to wear,” he complains lightly, flicking a glance down at the Coup de Grace like a neon pink beacon at his chest as though it’s explanation enough as to why he’s wearing it. It’s not, of course, he had his own tour merch that he could’ve worn, or a selection of Miles’ less obvious clothes, some plain t-shirts for example. 

“Then I tuned int’ radio ‘nd some bloke were doin’ an interview an’ err... some acoustic thing...” he smirks, “tha’ bloke weren’t bad either, dead nice voice actualleh, talked abou’ wrestlin’ a lot.” Miles giggles before he can continue, the laugh bubbling up from his chest easily. Alex smiles a bit softer, voice quieter to match. 

“You sounded great, Miles,” he clears his throat quietly, “I... I’m really proud o’ ye.” 

He’s not quite sure how to respond, voice sort of running away from him again but he ends up with a soft version of his usual smile by the time Alex finds the courage to meet his gaze again. It’s not like Alex hasn’t told him the same thing 5 times already, but it’s still such a reassurance that it bowls him over just a little each time. 

“Thanks,” a joke doesn’t seem right so he leaves it there. The silence that settles feels all the more comforting somehow. 

“Uhm... d’you ‘ave anythin’ planned fer the afternoon?” Miles begins, “m’knackered like, I dunno if y’wanna watch some film or whatever? Ye’ve always got somethin’ yer wantin’ me t’watch.” 

“Jus’ you this afternoon, love, if y’think ya can stay awake then there’s definiteleh some moveh I can pick aht fer us.” As he speaks he comes nearer, angling them so he can snake an arm around Miles’ waist. Clutching his tea in his other hand as Miles does the same. 

“When’ve I ever fallen asleep?” He mocks indignantly, “you’re the one who falls asleep everywhere Al, are y’sure y’can stay awake through a movie?” He snorts, fingers squeezing at the man’s hip just in case he decides to try to move away. If anything he sinks closer as he chuckles. 

“Depends ‘ow interestin’ it is.” He leans across to kiss Miles’ cheek. Maybe it’s how sleepy he’s suddenly feeling, what with the vague cuddle and the warmth of the jumper he’s wearing and the heaviness of those dark clouds outside, but he’s totally caught off guard by the kiss. He supposes, tentatively, that he feels a little too comfortable with the whole situation, a little to readily settled. 

Another sip of tea. Alex’s thumb rests against his hip, right at the waistband of his trackie bottoms, rubbing back and forth slowly. It’s probably subconscious, and he’s got that glazed look to his eye like he’s deep in thought. 

“Sometimes it’s the exact opposite.” He’d once remarked, “me mind stops tickin’ fer a second an’ I totalleh space aht.” Miles is willing to bet money it’s the latter though because if he looks really closely he can see that that crease above his eyebrow that signals the tiny tiny frown isn’t there, his features are more relaxed. 

Just like that he snaps back into focus, downs his tea and Miles does the same, squeezing his hip before letting go and following Alex to the living room. 

They curl together as though they’re made for each other. No amount of time apart seemed to change that, and no position they decided to get comfortable in ever managed to be awkward. When Miles had come in late on Friday night Alex needed him and they both knew it. By the time they were ready to sleep in the early hours their limbs tangled up close without a single thought for what was comfortable and Alex’s head at his chest tucked under his chin perfectly. The night before too, when they fit together perfectly and lay still in one another’s arms, bare skin making contact and pressing soft kisses wherever they could reach. 

It’s no different now, Alex just curls into the arm of the sofa on one side, reaching for the flicker and holding one arm so that Miles knows the spot beside him is reserved especially for him. He wastes no time crawling into the gap, making himself as small as possible and pushing his head against his collarbone like some kind of affection starved kitten. He can’t bring himself to care though because Alex’s slight chest moves with every breath and it’s already making him drowsy. In an effort to stay at least partially cognisant he fishes his phone from his pocket and is surprised to find a vast amount of notifications there, mostly instagram. He sighs as he unlocks the phone, hoping to see what particular photo is circulating just to satisfy his curiosity and then he can turn off the notifications and ignore the rest. The one he clicked on comes into view and it’s not what he expected. It’s one of those moving picture things of him and Alex, two years younger and both sporting wildly different hairstyles. He’d recognise their outfits anywhere of course, the kimono he’s wearing and Alex’s stupid bloody t-shirt. There’s another too, a photo and it must be from the end of the show because they’re sweaty and hold each other too close. As he looks at the photo he feels that same feeling overwhelm him exactly the same as it had that same day. All the rest are the same, some little videos and more of the moving pictures and he bites his lip as he looks through them and reads one or two of the less... embarrassing captions. 

“Al?” Alex is oblivious apparently, clicking about in search of whatever film he wants to put on but he must hear something demanding of attention in that one syllable. 

“Alex... it’s been 2 years since Rock en Seine,” he explains, showing him the photo on his screen. They’re both a complete mess in this one, clinging to each other.

“To the day?” 

Miles nods and thankfully Alex gets his message and runs his palm up and down Miles’ arm slowly. He’s sure Alex is thinking about it too, that last show, that feeling that stuck around and made them both bubble over with excitement and crumble simultaneously. Miles kisses his shoulder and then Alex’s voice comes a little too thick and deeper than usual, words breathed out against his temple. 

“Sometimes it feels like yesterday... other times I feel so far away from you that it could’ve been centuries.” He swallows hard but Miles’ response is simply to hold him as close as possible, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“It felt like we’d only jus’ started,” Miles muses, earning a hum of agreement. 

“The tour was amazing, I... I miss it sometimes... miss this.” Miles sighs but unexpectedly Alex continues. “I don’t like how rushed it all feels, it’s like I know we don’t have long enough together and it’s takin’ the pleasure away from every moment we do have.... sorreh m’not sure that made sense?” 

“It’s exactly wha’ I was thinkin’ earlier, Al, I know ‘ow y’feel.” He arms tighten and Alex squeezes him close and for a just a moment it feels like they may not need to let go ever. 

Alex starts up the film but Miles suspects it’s more for background noise since it doesn’t seem like the other man is watching it and Miles certainly isn’t. Alex is holding his hand delicately in one of his, the other wrapped securely around his back and the fingers of his first trace the tendons and veins at his wrist with fascination. Miles just watches him, ignoring how its tickling him and preferring to focus on the tenderness in his gaze. Without his hair shrouding some of his face Miles can’t help thinking how now he can read every emotion that flickers across his newly displayed features. He looks mostly content right now, eyes soft, jaw unclenched and not a single crease at his brow but there’s a glimmering look in his eye that Miles can’t ignore.

“Al?” his voice is quiet but it still makes the the man startle. 

“You okay?” Just like that everything tenses, only subtly but Miles notices of course, notices his lip twitch and his nose crinkle up while he squeezes Miles for a second. 

“Yeh, Yeh... Uhm are you?” Miles studies him for a moment. “I were... jus’ thinkin’ ‘bout Paris, I-“ 

“That’s not what I meant, Al,” he breathes out and there’s that faltering again where his jaw goes firm and the tendon in his neck pops out slightly. Miles hasn’t really noticed before but when he grits his teeth like that you can see it at his forehead too, beside his temple. 

“Hey...” he does his best to meet Alex’s gaze but he’s avoiding. Miles can almost hear the cogs turning in his head and he shuts his eyes as he nods slowly. 

“Yeh... mmh Yeh,” comes a quiet mumble, “m’fine.” 

Miles ignores him of course, shifting so he can sit up a little and snake his arm around him carefully. Alex isn’t quite so physically affectionate as Miles usually but he seems very appreciative right now, pushing his forehead against his cheek. The lump in Miles’ throat gets harder to swallow but he manages to force out his gentle question. 

“Are you sure? M’not goin’ anywhere... y’know,” he skims Alex’s wrist bone with his fingertips, “if y’wanna ‘ave a chat abou’it?” 

Alex actually smiles then, gentle but it reaches his eyes. “Pretty sure I talked yer ear off the other night Mi,” he begins, linking their fingers all the same, “I am sorreh... abaht tha’... by the way.” Miles smacks his knee gently, wrapping his arms around him quickly.

“Don’ you dare,” he warns, but Alex’s eyes are already slipping closed so he just murmurs against his fuzzy hair amongst little kisses. “Don’t say sorry, y’fine, it’s okay... I’m always ‘ere, Al,” he insists. 

Miles has absolutely no idea what film he’s put on really but the soundtrack plays out in the background like it’s setting a scene. In the relative quiet they hold one another close and Miles thinks about Paris and that concert and about the years that have passed since. Alex is right, sometimes it feels as though he’s lived lifetimes since then. It hasn’t been easy since the end of that tour, not for him at least and life doesn’t always deal Alex the easiest of hands either. All he knows is he’s happy he can be there for him right now, in whatever capacity he might need. Even though he’s exhausted himself, he’s there, physically, emotionally, always there. His rambly, overtired thought process is of course interrupted by a mumble near his collarbone somewhere. 

“Thanks, love.” 

The afternoon passes far too quickly, mostly because Miles falls asleep. He hadn’t meant to, not after the conversation they’d just shared and the mumbling worries Alex had voiced about time slipping away. It’s just that he was so exhausted and maybe hadn’t fully realised to what extent earlier. Before he was this comfortable he supposed, physically so comfortable, warm and relaxed and with a familiar scent filling his nostrils. Emotionally... well there was comfort too, the gentle touch against his side, warm palm holding him close letting him know he was there. It felt good, so good and for the first time in a while he felt like he could sleep easily just because he was sleepy. When he wakes up he has no idea what the time is but he feels bad about it anyway. 

“Time is it?” He croaks out, voice sounding hoarse to his own ears. Alex shifts under him and Miles immediately realises they’re pressed really close. 

“Shhh, doesn’t matter, you can sleep more if you want,” he suggests, fingers immediately falling to his hair, fiddling with little pieces in so soothing a way that Miles almost gives in altogether and closes his eyes again. Instead he sighs and presses a kiss to Alex’s shoulder before sitting up and reaching for his hand. Alex lets him take it, and hums quietly as he moves a little closer. Miles decides it’s about time he cuddles Alex back, no doubt the other man is sleepy - he’s always sleepy, and cold - he’s always cold. So he wraps an arm around him and pulls him in, delighted when he receives a quiet mumbling to confirm both facts. 

“Mhhh yer so warm,” he utters, cold nose pressed up against his neck and complete with a rough shiver that’s probably at least partially for effect. Then he yawns softly too.

The rain comes hard against the window, sky a dark grey and heavily clouded. As soon as Miles tunes into it he can’t stop listening, feeling so cozy there. It picks up along with the wind and Alex shivers a little, pushing up against him close as possible but fixing his eyes on the telly still. 

“Hey, lemme up.” Miles whispers, desperate not to break the quiet cocooned feeling that the room is managing to exude. Alex only holds him closer. 

“What? No, why? Stay here!” He’s being dramatic and petty and they both know it but it just makes Miles smile. 

“Because you’re leaning right on me bladder, pleeeease let me up, dahhlin’,” he tries, hoping his endearments are enough to appease for the fact he’ll be gone for all of one minute. 

“Uhhh fine, but put the kettle on whilst yer up?” He suggests. 

“‘ow much tea have you had today, Al?”

“Uhhh probleh too much,” he begins but as Miles stands up he complains. “But I’m so sleepy... and cold.” Miles grins. 

“Okay... okay what if, you let me up and in return, you get to wear this jumper?” He suggests, already slipping his arms out of it and pulling it over his head. Alex doesn’t have a chance to protest before Miles is helping him pull it on and he really looks too lovely for words. While that jumper had been a little too large on Miles, Alex’s shoulders and chest are much narrower, the extra inch or two round serves to absolutely drown him but he smiles softly, looking content and he pulls the sleeves down over his hands. 

It doesn’t take long for Miles’ thoughts to start wandering once he’s alone in the kitchen. He ends up making that tea as quickly as he possibly can for fear of losing too much time. He’s not in the least disappointed when he balances the two hot mugs in his hands and crosses the threshold of the living room and is greeted with the sight of Alex, still drowning in that sweatshirt and stretching up, on his tiptoes in the corner, apparently trying to reach something on the bookshelf. 

Miles leaves their mugs on the coffee table and regards him with a smile, hands on his hips and letting his gaze fall to the slither of skin on display by his hips. He flushes a little and finally looks away when he notices a rather dark bruise just above the waist band of his sweatpants, a remnant of a kiss from their first night back together a couple of days before. He wonders absently if it hurts but before he can wonder too long his thoughts flick back to a few months prior, when Alex’s hair was longer and he stretched up just like this to display that same curve of a hipbone. Back then he was reaching up to try to close the door of the boot of their tourbus, using all his weight to try to get it closed. From a distance Miles could tell he hadn’t pulled the lock open. He rolled his eyes fondly, knowing that he hadn’t yet been spotted. Alex tried again and then just sighed, shoving back his hair and huffing quietly. Miles waited until he tried yet again, smiling as he came up behind him, slipping an arm around his waist and his lips against his temple. Miles got the door closed in seconds flat. He teased Alex about being useless but the other boy smiled around his self deprivation joke and his nose crinkled up just a little and Miles was immediately lost.

“What are you trying to reach?” Miles asks, quickly dragging him close by that particularly tiny waist and feeling him sink in automatically. 

“A... book... it’s too high I can’t...” he’s stretching to try to reach again but miles just chuckles at him, where he’s trying to reach, raising a hand easily to get it for him. 

“Cuz you’re just sooooo tiny,” he mumbles against the side of his head. It’s an age old tease that he still loves to use every single time he can. It makes Alex do one of two things; he’ll pout and mumble and insist he’s not as tiny as he looks and complain that Miles isn’t exactly much taller, or he’ll go quiet and smile and maybe blush very very lightly, ducking his head in vague affirmation. 

Today it’s the latter. Miles’ personal favourite on days like this, it’s softer and it shows Alex is in a good mood so he smiles and kisses his forehead yet again. 

“Summat you’re reading?” He asks, holding his hand and dragging him back to the sofa where he fully intends to curl back up and wrap an arm around him tight. 

“Started it a long time ago... maybe forgot abaht it a little bit, but ehm... I think I’m in the right mood to try it again.” He smiles, holding an arm out for Miles to get comfy against his side again. “You ever get tha’?” 

Miles nods, “maybe no’ with books but err... I remember tryna get inta Neil Young years ago an’ I jus’ couldn’t... I listened again las’ year though, and-“ 

“-got bang into it!” Alex finishes for him, shoulders shaking lightly with his soft laughter.

“Exactly,” Miles smiles wide, reminded of how it feels to have Alex finish his sentences. He reaches for their tea and curls his fingers around his mug, passing one to Alex and watching him do the same as he mutters his thanks. 

Alex gets totally lost when he’s reading. Cuts himself off from the outside world in the most endearing way. Sometimes you have to call his name two or three times, sometimes he totally loses track of time, other times he gets sunburn or forgets about a meal or doesn’t notice phone calls.

Currently Miles alternates between watching quietly, sipping his tea and staring out the window at the dark clouds and the rain, or watching whatever it is that’s on tv. Usually he gets restless, if he sits still for too long he starts getting that feeling that he ought to be doing something, anything to take the edge of his excess energy. He finds it hard to shut off, always has and in fact, come to think of it he’s surprised he managed to fall asleep earlier, supposes it’s a testament to his absolutely being at ease. Alex turns another page beside him and Miles smiles at him. He looks absolutely lovely, he decides, particularly soft but there’s something else, a confident edge with that new hairstyle and all.

“Y’really are gorgeous, Al.” The words tumble from his lips without his permission but Alex doesn’t even notice really, he just hums and then links their fingers together near Miles’ waist where his arm is wrapped. 

He’s weeding out emails on his phone when he hears a quiet rumble and Alex finally shifts. Miles raises an eyebrow but he gives it five minutes before the sound comes again and this time he lets a laugh bubble up and Alex joins him before he groans. 

“Mmmm’ kay m’starving, can you be arsed cooking? I can’t be arsed cooking. Indian? I fancy Indian, do we still have those menus in the weird miscellaneous draw in the kitchen?” He’s talking way too fast and Miles can’t help smiling at him but something sticks in his chest. He’s not sure what it is but something feels very very domestic about the whole situation, discussing the contents of the “miscellaneous kitchen drawer” is somehow throwing him for a loop. 

“Delhi grill,” he mumbles, “Uhhh Al, Delhi grill pleaaaase, it’s amazing, it’s me fave, I know you love it too.” Alex groans though.

“Mi.... ugh they don’t deliver though, and I don’t wanna go out Miiiiles,” he pouts and all. “Someone might stop me...” he groans, shoving his head against Miles’ neck, “in the middle of the street... askin’ fer photos...” he pouts harder and Miles rolls his eyes heavily enough so that they both end up laughing. 

“Oh my god, you are such a diva, nope we’re not compromising on the best Indian around just because you’re too lazy,” he tries to stay firm but Alex has pushed his book aside and wraps his arms around his waist quickly, shoving his nose against his collarbone. 

“M’not lazy... I’m... someone always asks fer a selfie, an’ I don’ ‘ave me ‘at-“ Miles cuts him off with a snort. 

“Ohhh oh your grandpa disguise you mean?? Steady on, batman! Alright, let me go then, you call the order whilst I get changed.“ He pushes away just in time before Alex drags him back down again. 

“You want Biryani?” he calls, absent already as he presumably searches about for the number. 

“Yessss, and naan,” he confirms, knowing Alex will get something else too so they can both share one another’s curry. He zips Alex’s hoodie closed, covering up the tshirt underneath and then he’s just checking for his keys, wallet, phone, before shrugging one of his new favourite jackets, a khaki YSL blazer for an extra layer in order to face the weather. He makes it back to the living room in time to hear a soft “cheers mate” as Alex rounds off the call. 

“Tag team, go!” Alex jokes and Miles laughs without even meaning to. He’s such an idiot really. With that thought he leans down over the back of the sofa, hands on Alex’s shoulders while he kisses his cheek chastely. 

“Bye love, shan’t be long!” 

By the time he’s returned his hood is covering his face to shield from the rain and he’s weighed down only by the bag of rich smelling spicy food. Alex has, rather surprisingly, set up the coffee table with plates, cutlery and glasses of water ready for them to eat while the food is still hot. Miles had truly expected him to have gotten lost in that book again and he’d assumed they’d be eating out of the boxes. Alex can be remarkably lazy at times but sometimes he does like to do things more properly. Instead of sitting across from Alex like he’d probably expected, Miles sits directly next to him, greets him with a kiss and asks him ever so sweetly if he’ll dish everything up while he takes off his extra unnecessary clothes, suddenly much too hot now that he’s in the warmth of the flat. 

“C’mere,” Alex insists just the second he’s close enough, pulling him down next to him so they’re both cross legged on the carpet and sat too close. Miles just snakes his arm around him carefully, letting his hand drop to his hip and squeezing gently. His very slight wince answers Miles’ earlier question he supposes but he doesn’t say anything because he’s too busy sticking his fork into curried lamb and rice and then moaning far too exaggeratedly about how good it is. 

When most of the food is gone and Alex’s default expression seems to be one of laughter or pure contentment, the dimple at his nose prominent in Miles’ very favourite way, Miles hoists him up so they can sit back on the sofa where their legs won’t get pins and needles. 

“Thanks Mi, for getting me food, yer amazing.” 

He snorts at that, sure he should tease him for being dramatic about it but he can’t find it in him, he’s just so sweet so instead he gives him a little kiss, just below his cheekbone where he can feel the smile spread beneath his lips. 

Silence settles for a moment or two but Miles isn’t quite comfortable. Alex is breathing soft and controlled with little pauses like he’s considering saying something but isn’t bothering. Just as Miles is reasoning with himself to ask what’s wrong if he hears that stilted breath one more time, he’s interrupted.

“I luv ye...” Alex manages, a numbly phrase, eyes closed but they open slowly after a moment, a tiny barely there smile creasing the corners of his mouth.

Miles’ heartbeat has already slowed, fingers stilling their movement at the hair at the base of his neck and gaze meeting Alex’s straight away. It’s not like how it is in fiction, blood rushing in the ears and heart beating hard, with this overwhelming and intense rush of emotion. Instead it’s more like a settling, there’s a wave of calm that falls over him, makes him feel warm. It washes over him slowly, nothing tumultuous or jarring about it. The statement itself lacks urgency or panic, just a gentle, plain fact and that’s the reaction it provokes in Miles. When he looks in Alex’s eyes, glassy and slightly hazy but so familiar in their swirling brown depths, he feels rather like he’s returned home. His voice comes out like a breath when eventually he finds it. 

“I love you too, Al.” 

His words are all it takes for a proper smile to take over Alex’s features. As though he’d have said anything else at all.


End file.
